Easy Money

OK…  This could be the easiest way to get a free meal.  I should save this for number 101, but I can’t resist after this happened for the third time in less than a month AND after getting the e-mail this morning at work, I realized this is the perfect method.  It can be done by anyone – even if you aren’t a good actor or you’re just a shy person by nature.

I hope everyone had a great Memorial Day.  I, myself, tried to get a free meal yesterday, but considering I was the cook and my wife bought the groceries, the ‘hair in my food’ trick didn’t go very far.  Anyway, as I said, I am giving you the simplest way to get free food.  Of course I hope you never use it, BUT, if times get tough, here you go:

  1. Pick your favorite CHAIN restaurant – Emphasis is on the CHAIN here as most mom & pop restaurants are smarter than this.  Also the gift cards are not coming out of his/her pocket.  Their objective is just to get the problem to go away.
  2. Send an e-mail complaint something like this….. (I had to change it slightly in case the nice person who sent this to me this morning ever happens to read my blog)

“Charlie’s Steak House is one of my favorite restaurants…” (for some reason, people think that if you mention that the restaurant chain is your favorite or you SPEND LOTS of money in that restaurant you automatically get a more expensive gift certificate or free meal)

“….However, after my last visit to the Cincinnati location, I WILL NEVER BE BACK!….”  – (also important to say you will never be back.  The person reading the e-mail will be stupid enough to believe you even though not only was it one of your favorite restaurants twenty minutes ago, you are now asking for a gift card to that very place)

“….We walked into your restaurant at 5:00pm yesterday.  The restaurant was not busy.  The hostess was busy talking to one of her friends on the phone and completely ignored us.  We stood there for almost 10 minutes waiting for her to get off the phone.  Finally, she glares at us and says with a snotty attitude, ‘What do you want?’….”  (again, as mentioned in previous posts, you must make the staff seem as rude as possible even if you have to say something that is obviously a lie)

“….WHAT DO YOU WANT?  ARE YOU KIDDING ME??  We were so offended we left and went across the street to Jerry’s Place and they were more than happy to serve us.  I guess we will just go there from now on…”  (Nice tactic here – name dropping a competitor)

And that’s it!  That is all you need to say.

The e-mail I receive from corporate has a little message to me and at the bottom is a note that they sent out gift cardS – yes there is a capital ‘S’ at the end as they sent more than one!  REALLY???!!!!

And there you have it, The FREE MEAL.

By the way, I watched the feed from our security system between 4pm and 6pm that day and never saw anyone standing at the host stand for more than 30 seconds before being greeted by my 35 year old Head Hostess.  As they mentioned, we were slow at 5pm (most restaurants are slow at 5pm – they may have never even come in at all), at 5:30 when we started to get busy, we had a host greeting at the door and taking people directly to a table until 6:17pm when we went on a short wait.  This of course doesn’t matter as the lady got the free gift cards anyway.   UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!  Frustrating but efficient on her part – five minutes of work on a PC or Mac and she can eat out for free!


S. Hoffman

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