There is a fly outside

Another week gone by, another free meal for you.  This is short and sweet, but definitely has potential for success.  As with other ‘tricks’ on here, they don’t always work everywhere, but worth the try.  This has actually been used before, but not quite as smoothly as yesterday……

On a random trip out on the patio to check on the customers out there I see an older lady motioning for me to come see her.

“Sir, are you the manager”?  she asks.  Funny how many times people ask me that question.  Is it normal for a guy dressed in a shirt and tie to go around talking to tables who isn’t the manager?

“Yes ma’am.  May I help you?”

“You have a serious fly problem here.  We (three ladies at the table) can’t even enjoy our meal because we are spending so much time trying to shoo the flies away.”   Shoo is a word I believe.

“I’m sorry ma’am, would you like to move inside?”

“No, we came here to sit outside.  We just didn’t expect to have our meal ruined by a fly.”

“I understand ma’am.  Let me know if you change your mind and would like to move inside.”  I start to walk away knowing that I AM OUTSIDE and can’t do anything about a random fly and certainly she wouldn’t expect me to.

“SIR!” she yells.

“Yes ma’am”

“Aren’t you going to do something about the fly?”

“Oh, yes ma’am.  Hold on a minute while I go get my shotgun and shoot it for you.  OR I could get a huge can of bug spray and spray it over the top of your table and food and hope the fly gets hit by the spray.  OR I could get my fly swatter and wait until it lands in your hair and then SMACK it.”

That would have been fun to say, but instead I reply with:

“There is not much I can do about flies outside.  Even if I were able to get rid of one fly, you are sitting outside and the food will probably attract more.”  -thought this sounded well thought out and very rational of a response.

“REALLY?”, she says.  “That is your answer.  We eat outside all the time at other restaurants and we have never had an issue with flies.”  – OK, she has me here.  I can’t exactly argue that point if I didn’t eat with her each time she sat outside.

“Well ma’am.  I am not sure what you want me to do.  Although the fans usually help keep the flies away, there is nothing else I can do.”

And here it comes…….

“Well if you can’t get rid of the fly, we just want our money back.”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME LADY?!  YOUR MONEY BACK!?  BECAUSE OF A FLY ON THE OUTSIDE PATIO?!  – glad my thoughts don’t actually come out of my mouth 😉

Here is where I failed.  Very similar to Lebron James in the 4th quarter of a championship game, I had her beat until the very end.

“Ma’am, If I gave everyone who sat on the patio and saw a fly a free meal, I would go out of business.”  -sounds good, but a perfect set up for the smart scammer.

She hits me with, “If you are that aware of flies on your patio, why don’t you warn the people before you let them sit out there?”


But, she got me and I caved in and gave her what she wanted.

And there you have it…  The free meal.

S. Hoffman

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